Body Image – Moving towards a more positive experience of our bodies

Our body image is not our body.  Our body image is an image we have of our body, that has been created in our minds and all of the pain from our past gets stored inside this story.

If we have experienced a serious accident or injury, had a traumatic pregnancy or birth, or if we have a medical condition or a disability, all of these things will affect how we feel about ourselves and play into our construction of our body image.

In theory, we could diet down to an anorexic weight, but our basic shape will never change.  If we usually store fat around our belly, our thighs, or our upper arms, we will continue to store fat in the same places when we regain weight.

We can change our hairstyle, the kind of clothes we wear, we can even change how we look with plastic surgery, but if we were an unhappy person who felt powerless in our life before we altered our appearance, we’re still going to be an unhappy person who feels powerless in our life afterwards.

The only way I know to change how we feel about ourselves is with a lot of work on our inner-selves.  The weight loss industry is a billion dollar business that feeds off consumers – that’s us – feeling hopeless.  The last thing they want is for us to learn how to like ourselves.

Growing Self-Acceptance

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

We can use our mirrors as a personal torture chamber, or as a tool for long-term self-acceptance.

Many years ago, there was a study done that showed that even if people “hated” their bodies, the same people still felt okay about their faces.  The reason for this was the repeated exposure they had day in, day out to their faces: brushing their teeth, applying skin care and make up and styling their hair meant that they had contact with their face a few times a day.

Exactly the same process works with our bodies.  Usually our bodies are covered up and we avoid looking at them in the mirror, especially the bits we don’t like, so we never get to have that essential exposure.

Another study done on people with bulimia and binge eating, showed that after 12 weeks of receiving full-body massages, their feelings of self-acceptance about their bodies had grown measurably.  The reason for this, was that they felt “safe” with a professional person gently touching the contours of their body.

This reassuring touch reinforced where their body started and where it ended, and the regularity of the massages helped them reconnect with a body they had rejected.

We can mimic this self-acceptance effect by doing similar things for ourselves.  First, by gently applying a good quality moisturiser to our whole body after a shower, and secondly, by receiving regular massages by a professional person, or if we have a partner who is willing, that is another option.

Questions to reflect on:

Which parts of your body have you had a difficult relationship with in the past?  Why has this been difficult for you?  Can you place your hands softly on this part of your body to acknowledge it ?

Is there any shame in this part of your body?  Did someone give you this shame?  And do you need to carry the shame anymore?

Consider the symbolic function of the body part that you have had issues with, beyond it’s appearance, and see if you can begin to view this part of your body in a new, more respectful light and start valuing what this body part does for you.

Ask yourself how you could show this part of your body some more love and validate all answers you are given from your body part, everything is of value.

Body image research originally came from Professor Ann Kearney-Cooke www.drannkcooke.com