I Thought I Just Needed More Discipline

For the longest time, I thought my struggle with food was a discipline problem.

I kept thinking:

“If I could just stick to a plan…”

“If I could just be more consistent…”

“If I could just stop giving up on myself…”

But no matter how many times I started over, or how many new food rules I followed, the same pattern always returned. And every time it did, I felt more helpless than before.

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Discipline Can’t Fix What Needs Compassion

Here’s what I know now:

I didn’t need more discipline.

I needed more safety.

I needed to feel safe inside my own body.

Safe in my feelings.

Safe enough to be honest about what was really going on under the surface.

Discipline might help you stick to a schedule.

But healing? Healing asks for us to be gentle.

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When You’re at War with Yourself

If we’re constantly trying to control our eating by tightening the reins, we might be missing what’s underneath it all.

The bingeing. The grazing. The mindless snacking.

They’re not failures.

They’re clues.

They’re our body saying, “I’m not okay, and I don’t know how else to tell you.”

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What If There’s Nothing Wrong With Us?

I’m serious, what if there’s nothing wrong with you or me?

What if our nervous system is just trying to keep us safe the only way it knows how?

What if this isn’t a flaw, it’s a signal?

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Healing starts when we stop trying to “fix” ourselves and force ourselves to be better.

And instead we could ask, “What do I really need right now?”

Maybe it’s to have a good rest.

Maybe it’s to have a good cry.

Maybe it would be to talk to someone who just listens.

And maybe it could be time to stop blaming ourselves for being human and having all our full-colour human needs.

Our human needs are kind of essential as they are the only thing that connects us with all our other fellow humans.

When we reach out and feel a genuine connection with another human being (even patting a dog would help!) our body receives a rush of dopamine and oxytocin, the feel good chemicals in our bodies and our brains, and that makes us smile on the inside.

When we feel that human connection, we feel deeply satisfied and strangely enough, we have much less emotional hunger and this flows through to us being less physically hungry too.

I challenge you to ask yourself the two life-serving questions of Nonviolent Communication: What is alive in me? (This is about your feelings) and What would make life more wonderful? (This is about your needs) and listen out carefully to what your spirit is whispering to you…

contact www.supporttostopovereating.com.au for more